On August 30, my kids packed up their backpacks and masks and went for a full week of real live school. After summer’s patchwork of half-day camps, trips, and freedom, back-to-school has always been a momentous occasion. But after a year and a half of little to no school, and with both of our daughters now in college, this was epic.

There were so many things I wanted to do. But mostly I looked forward to working on my memoir, this new blog, and some poetry. But I knew how quickly the energy could change from fun to stress.

It’s like there are two people inside me: one who is excited to get out her colored pencils, and the other who says, Hurry up and prove yourself! I usually respond to the louder one and start running to the starting gun and stopwatch. And like the hare in the race against the turtle, I’d get exhausted and eventually take a nap and never finish.

This year I wanted to be different, but how? I could start the first day with gratitude. Writing down all that I have, all that is going well, all that I have been given. To start off the day off with a good feeling.

Instead of jumping into my work as if I were in a race to the finish, I could take a few minutes to relax. Instead of using that tight, rushed energy to get things done, I could wait until I feel centered and calm.

I could let myself be drawn toward which task feels the most fun. Instead of tackling the “most important” thing, I could ask what feels good. Because if I’m happy while I’m working, does it even matter in the end if I achieve "success"? When stepping little by little toward what pleases me I’m less likely to wake up halfway toward some distant goal and realize it’s not really what I wanted.

And you know what? It worked! I felt like a turtle in my slow plodding, but in taking my time and moving toward what made me happy, I was surprised at how easy it was to create. I didn’t feel like I was trying hard — I was just playing. Without thinking I needed to copy the successful people, I ended up creating things that felt delicious and true to who I am.

As I got closer to the end of the week, my inner taskmaster started getting loud again. On Thursday she started getting hysterical. “The workweek is almost over, and what have you done?” These parts of ourselves, who really just want to help us, don’t give up that easily. Even though from the sidelines it may look like a hopeless race, with time I think she’ll see that my turtle self can get places.